sticks and stones...

The old saying goes, "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me"...   in my humble opinion, that is a lie we tell ourselves...  and maybe we adults even believe it...  but I think children sometimes are smarter than us...  just try to get a child who is being teased and picked on to actually believe the saying...  they know it's a lie...

Recognizing the lie for what it is just might be the first [very, very, very, very small] step towards finding a solution to the problem of bullying...

If your child comes home upset because she/he is being picked on, don't tell them this lie...  they won't believe you...  instead, listen to them, acknowledge their hurt feelings, let them know you love and value them, and work from there to help them find creative ways to stand up to the bullies...

It probably won't be easy...   no one ever said it would be...   but no one deserves to be bullied for any reason...   and your child's life just might hang in the balance...


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bullying = abuse = big problem...

Recently I have heard more in the news about young people who have killed themselves because they were being bullied by others...   picked on mercilessly because they seemed "different"...  or "gay"...  or "nerdy"...  or ...  well, actually, someone who is going to be a bully doesn't really need a reason...  I suspect they just feel as if they have a right to be a bully...  and if the person being bullied doesn't like it? Well, whose gonna make the "bully-ers" stop, anyway?

Bullying has probably been around as long as people have existed...  it is an old, old, old problem that has mostly been overlooked with its consequences underestimated...  by parents, teachers and school administrators alike.  The stock answers ... "its just a part of growing up" ... "it'll toughen you up" ... "oh, its just harmless fun" ... "they didn't really mean anything by it" ... just are not acceptable anymore!!

Even worse, the attitude that the victim of bullying "deserved it", because they are perceived as gay, or because they are gay, is unconscionable!!  Whether or not you like a person, their life-style, their religion, or even their favorite sports team... does not give you the right to bully someone else!!

Bullying and intimidation is abuse, pure and simple!!   How many more children, teenagers, and college students will choose to die because they see death as the only way to escape being bullied, before people will begin to choose to help those who walk around with a "target" on their backs?  Yes...  it is much easier to ignore the problem or talk about the ones being victimized in disparaging ways than it is to really try to tackle the problem...  but we must find a way to help the victims...  to end bullying... we are losing too many precious lives!!


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